It is truly amazing to me the number of ways we have learned to suppress our feelings and then convince ourselves it is the right thing to do.
I have heard every imaginable way these feelings have been shamed, judged, and made wrong. They have been called sins. They have been called bad attitudes. They have been called nuisances.
“If you had simply had more faith, you wouldn’t be experiencing pain.”
“If you had simply been more righteous, you wouldn’t be experiencing depression.”
“You just need to be more selfless.”
“You just need to give it to God.”
“You just need to meditate.”
“You just need to pray.”
“You just need to write.”
“You just need to breathe.”
“You just need to drink more caffeine.”
It’s as if these feelings are intolerable and to be avoided and gotten rid of at all costs.
What I have learned is these feelings are not only permissible, THEY ARE NECESSARY.
They are quite literally feelings to be celebrated and respected.
It’s like saying there is something wrong with you for feeling hunger. What if, every time you felt a hunger pang, you wondered what was wrong with you? What if you tried to pray it away? What if you tried to write about it and talk about it with a friend, instead of eating?
THAT WOULD BE INSANE.
Hunger is not right or wrong… it simply tells you when you need to eat.
In the same way that:
Anger tells you there’s been an injustice.
Resentment tells you when you have dishonored yourself.
Sadness tells you you have lost something valuable.
Boredom tells you you are craving something more.
Fear tells you you crave protection.
Frustration tells you you crave change.
Loneliness tells you when you’re social life gets to adjust.
Pain tells you to love on yourself more.
Tiredness tells you to give yourself rest.
We have spent so much time trying to GET RID OF THE TRIGGER, when the trigger was never EVER the issue. Rather, it was the gift all along. It’s the negative feels that have been trying to get you to love on yourself, align yourself, and MEET YOUR NEEDS.
Stop judging the “hunger” and trying to purge it with cleanses, meditation, prayer, writing, and caffeine. Just fucking allow yourself the right to EAT. Allow yourself the right to FEEL and give yourself permission to meet your needs.
You get to honor yourself, Unapologetically.
Do you struggle with this? Do you find yourself suppressing your feelings and needs, making them bad and wrong?